Reva: "It killed me to have to lie to him." Jenna: "Did it?? You don't look dead!"
Ross: "If everybody who Roger hurt jumped in bed together, everything would have to stop for the world's biggest orgy."
When Alan-Michael had trouble writing a poem for Phillip, who was marrying his once presumed dead love, Beth, Harley offered, "There once was a most happy groom, who dug up his dead lover's tomb...."
Buzz: "Maybe I'm not interested in money."
Nadine: "Yeah and maybe I'm not interested in getting a facelift. We are what we are."
Roger (at the country club): "Did I say rare or medium-rare?"
Leo: "You like a little blood at every meal, don't you?"
Blake: "Is regular coffee grounds for kicking me out?"
Ross: "No, but that is. Get thee to a punnery."
Roger: "This is all you've managed to dig up on the Lewises?"
Detective: "That stuff about the brothers and the father all marrying
the same woman is pretty hot."
Roger: "Old news. I need something big."
Buzz: "Where do you get your hair cut?"
Alan-Michael: "Rudy's at the Regency."
Buzz: "Is that a permanent, or does your hair actually grow that way?"
Roger: "It's good to see you."
Holly: "One good lie deserves another. It's good to see you too."
Grady: "We've known each other since we were young and restless."
Jenna: "And bold and beautiful."
Grady: "Aw, now you're making fun of me."
Ross: "Aren't you coming to bed?"
Blake: "No. I thought I'd slip out and have a few affairs while you
were resting. Hope you don't mind."
Roger (to Jenna brandishing a knife): "And put that down. The wife with the knife bit has been done, and recently."
Lucy: "Daddy could I please borrow $75?"
Buzz: $75, for what?"
Lucy: "The Springfield Inn, I made reservations tonight. I really
wanted to take Alan-Michael out
to dinner."
Buzz: "Gee, aren't you a woman of the '90s."
Lucy: "Well I can't always have him taking me out every night, can I?"
Buzz: "He's a rich man. Where in the ages does it say you have to be
a millionaire to date a millionaire?"
Lucy: "Fine, I'll just use his credit card then."
Buzz: "I don't like the sound of that."
Lucy: "That's because you're jealous, because you don't have one.
Sorry. Credit cards aren't all there cracked up to be anyway. You can't keep track of how much you
spend. Trust me, you're better off without it."
Buzz: "Believe me I'd like to say 'charge it' just once before I die."
Lucy: "Well, if you really want one, I'm sure Jenna would cosign for you."
Buzz: "You're not my child."
Holly: "So what's he doing? Threatening to have you disbarred?"
Sid: "Well, actually it was a different kind of threat. Said he might hire me one day."
Roger: "At least I'm somewhat different on the home front. You notice
anything different about the home front? Such as, I picked up a vacuum today. Like I ran a
vacuum around the entire living room!"
Holly: "Scared the hell out of me, please don't ever do that again."
Julie: "...It's so romantic when I think about it I just want to die."
Bridget: "Stop thinking about it."
Lucy: "What's the matter, don't like the coffee Julie?"
Julie: "As a matter of fact I don't, it's too sweet. It's making me sick."
Lucy: "Well some people can never be satisfied."
Jenna: "You're not going to wear that are you? It looks like it's been slept in."
Alan-Michael: "Why do you care what I wear?"
Jenna: "You're right, I don't give a damn."
Jenna: "Is this really any way to treat someone who's supposed to be a partner?"
Alan-Michael: "Well gee Jenna, I'm sorry but I'm in a bad mood today."
Jenna: "Well I know sexual frustration can do that to a man."
Alan-Michael: "It's not funny."
Jenna: "I think it's very funny."
Ross: "I think that means stop Blake. These are not the kind of
questions a child should be asking her parents."
Roger: "Ross you're coming to my defense. This warms my heart."
Ross: "I bought a book about how to be the ideal son-in-law."
Blake: "I think it's high time that you two thought about making it
legal. After all people are talking about you behind your back."
Ross: "Don't worry, your father's used to that by now. Sorry, only got to Chapter 2."
Blake: "I mean it was nice enough, but nothing special. Although I
didn't say that in the thankyou note."
Alan-Michael: "You sent a note!"
Blake: "Yeah."
Alan-Michael: "Where did you send it to?"
Blake: "The prison, where else?"
Alan-Michael: "You. Only you would send a thankyou note to a man who
almost killed you."
Blake: "Yeah, like they say it's the thought that counts."
Holly: "They're still out there (Roger and Ross). How long is it
now?"
Blake: "Thirty-two minutes. I'm starting to get worried."
Holly: "If there were any bloodshed we would have heard the screams."
Blake: "Not if they poisoned each other. I mean they could be sitting
there waiting for rigor mortis to set in or something."
Blake: "Do my ears deceive me, or was that a stab at brotherly love?"
Alan-Michael: "Yeah, yeah, I know it's weird. I came to see my Uncle
Ed and I got to looking at that picture in the livingroom. You know the one, you've seen it a
million times. It's Rick and Phillip and Beth, they're all cheasing it up to the camera as usual. I
don't know I just got an impulse."
Blake: "How is Phillip?"
A-M: "Do you care?"
Blake: "Well excuse me dear, but I was married to him at one point,
remember?"
A-M: "So, you were married to me too and I haven't heard you say how
am I."
Blake: "Who has risked life and limb and the wrath of my brand new
husband to listen to you all hours of the night?"
A-M: "Do you want to lower your neurosis, I'm just kidding."
Blake: "Kidding!"
A-M: "Yes."
Blake: "Wow, there's a switch. The last time I saw you, you were at
the end of your rope. I mean I fully expected to see you at a highway off ramp holding up a
sign saying, 'Will compute, compound interest for food.'"
Alan-Michael: "So Ross was so angry with you, the fact that I came
over the other night, that you felt that you had to bake your way back into his god graces?"
Blake: "He was mad, yes. But I got around it this time, but I really
don't suggest that you start throwing late night pebbles at my window again any time soon."
A-M: "I'm sorry, I lost my head. It was an impulsive moment. You're
dressed very formal for the distribution of baked goods."
Blake: "Oh actually I have a lunch date and I really should go. So
listen, if Ed comes back will you tell him that the cake came from me?"
A-M: "I'll tell him, but I don't think he's going to believe me."
Blake: "So are you going to tell Ed the real reason you called Phillip?"
A-M: "What real reason? I told you it was an impulse."
Blake: "Yeah right and I'm Betty Crocker."
A-M: "Take care Betty."
Blake: "Uh huh."
Alexandra: "Then it had to be Alan-Michael. I came in on him this
afternoon and he said he was just picking up some books that belonged to him. But I guess my nephew
decided to walk off with a few added momentos."
Fletcher: "So Alan-Michael's grand gesture of retaliation against you
for excommunication and suing him is to come in and swipe your fathers clock? He'd be more
creative than that."
Alexandra: "Well it was very creative you know that because there is
hardly anything more he could do that would distress me more. That was my fathers favorite
clock. Not only that. I mean there was a whole family ritual built up to this thing. If I was very,
very good; I would get to wind the clock at night before bedtime rather than Alan."
Blake (to Frank about Alan-Michael's love for Eleni):
"I've heard of carrying a torch, but this is the towering inferno."
Ross (after learning that Blake gave away his jacket): "Which one of
my old jackets would that be Blake?"
Blake: "From your frontier days."
Ross: "My Buffalo Springfield jacket? My 'something's happening here,
what it is ain't exactly clear' jacket?"
Frank (watching soaps): "I watched this show last Tuesday and Friday.
They mentioned today was the Fourth of July, right? If everybody's wearing the same outfits,
it means it's the same day as last Tuesday and Friday, right? They didn't say it was the Fourth
last Tuesday."
Buzz: "Oh yeah, I see what you mean...Carla's going to wake up
tomorrow and it's going to be last Wednesday."
Nadine: "You guys are really spoiling it for me."
Alan: "Is the meal really in such dire need of seasoning?"
Alexandra: "Oh no, no it's lovely actually. You know me I salt
everything."
Roger: "What more could I want?"
Alexandra: "What you've always wanted -- Spaulding."
Roger: "Yeah see, that's when I didn't have a life. I have one now."
Bridget: "Hey Lucy, go easy there. He's not spoiled. Are you Matt?
You're not spoiled at all. I mean you do have this amazing gift for getting everyone in the world to
do anything that you want and then you don't even seem to notice or mind. But you're not
spoiled. You're just really slick, right?"
Matt: "Yeah, yeah, I'm just really slick."
Alan: "You should have seen my guests when I presented them with the
prison knives. Utensils that wouldn't even put a dent in margarine."
Jenna: "You didn't? They actually tried to cut it!?"
Alan: "Yeah they sawed away merrily. It was a feast for the eye if
not for the pallet."
Nadine: "...and I'll go find someplace else to color my hair."
Buzz: "Oooh, what are we doing with our hair? What are we going for a
lighter shade of pale?"
Levy: "A bug. Planted almost in plain sight."
Nick: "You've got something to say about that Rog?"
Roger: "You're more of an idiot than I thought. If I were going to
plant a bug, you can be damn sure it wouldn't be where somebody could trip over it."
Roger: "The kindest word I can think up for you Gilly is duplicitous."
Gilly: "Roger, I don't know what you are talking about."
Roger: "Look it up."
Holly: "'Get well soon and hurry back. The employees at Spaulding
Enterprises.' How touching, the little people still believe in you."
Alexandra: "I guess that's something you wouldn't know anything about."
October 13, 1994 episode of Guiding Light
Patrick: "Well, I just bumped into another visiter (meaning Roger).
Anyone want to tell me why
the morgue is such a hot place for people to meet?"
Roger: "Ambulance is gone. Don't say I never gave you anything (he
hands Alan the briefcase).
Alan: "If I'd known I'd have been back so soon I would have save you
the trouble, Roger. You
didn't look inside did you?"
Roger: "Why, risk your boobie trapping it?"
Board member: "That's the question and it's not a legal one Ross."
Ross: "Glad to hear that Glen, I haven't had my second cup of coffee yet."
Tangie: "Blake!"
Blake: "Yes dear."
Tangie: "When I left this thing was in a mountain of files."
Blake: "I know. I didn't toss anything. Everything is in drawers."
Tangie: "Drawers?"
Blake: "Drawers."
Tangie: "This thing has drawers?"
Blake: "Yes."